was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
