no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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