But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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