I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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