Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
