THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Life is so much better after having sex.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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