Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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