At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize