What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
