Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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