Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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