Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
