yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
