Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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