someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
