well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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