the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
