and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
