Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
love makes seman taste better
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
