he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize