oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
