Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
