I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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