Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
A+ Viking dick
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
