Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
