so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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