After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
