I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
