Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
