i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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