Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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