I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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