Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
