:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
