Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
