We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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