I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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