I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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