yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
