we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize