hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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