Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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