The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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