YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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