He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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