6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
