Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
