stop calling my apartment porn island.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
