he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Couch. On fire.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
