after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
