There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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