Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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