Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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