You really coming over, don't trick.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
