So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
