are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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