Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I FOUND THE LEGS
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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