I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
