Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
