You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
