dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
They are going to name an STD after you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
